I just knew that keeping this thumb drive that was well forgotten just wasn't the right thing to do. There was artwork on there for a local Cub Scouts group. There was an excel spreadsheet with the personal information of all the members of the Executive Lodge of the group. I really was surprised that the first person I called wasn't following the Cub Scout Motto nor even acting in a manner of a leader of a group of young men that teaches about ethics and morals. He even mentioned, "Well Florida is a long way away from New Jersey. I said, I can put it in the mail or at minimum e-mail the owner the files on the flash drive. It was clear that this person really hadn't cared enough to find the rightful owner of this lost thumb drive.
The Cub Scouts of America have a motto. Do Your Best. Somebody's best is different than another person's best. I think when I look back on not making the roster of a Division 1 conference is such a defeating admission that I have to let it go and give it up to God. He knows why I didn't break that ceiling and I trust that is the best for me. I know I did my best and that I certainly knew the rules and was good enough. I take responsibility for not being a petite official and if this is the only reason I was not chosen, than C'est la vie. I ran with the best and kept up with them at the age of forty.
Even Oprah has had her feelings of doubt about why people hadn't chose her due to her body size. I love the story that Oprah Winfrey tells on her Masters Series about how she loved the story by Alice Walker, The Color Purple. She immediately identified with the story in the first paragraph about a fourteen year old black female who was pregnant. She had the same story. She woke up the morning it was available and went to the bookstore in her pajamas covered only with a coat. She walked into the store and bought all the copies they had. She went home and read the book non-stop until she was finished. She passed out copies of the book to her friends first and then went back and kept buying the book and met people on the streets and gave them these copies. She said since she didn't have a book club then, this was her first version of a book club.
She then found out they were casting for the movie and knew in her heart this role of Sophie was meant for her. Inside she was Sophie and she knew she would do better than anyone else in this part. She auditioned and then after a few days called the casting director to inquire if she had the part. He promptly told her, "I am the director, we have real actors who have auditioned. Alfrey Woodard is in here now. You don't call me, I call you." She took this as a sign she didn't get the part and convinced herself that she was too fat. She left town to check herself into a Fat Farm.
As she was running out on the track, she prayed to God to be forgiven for wanting this part. She cried and ran, prayed, cried and ran. She asked for forgiveness for not being able to let it go. She wasn't ready. As she continued she felt a peace and finally uttered the words, I am ready to release this. As she did this, a person came running from the Fat Farm with a phone. "Oprah there is a phone call for you." It was the director and he said, "I heard you checked into this Fat Farm. She said yes and he said well you better get out of there as you have been cast for the role of Sophie and you better not lose one pound!" She said that she checked out immediately and stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home to make sure she hadn't lost that one pound when she was running earlier that day.
Sometimes that's what it takes. Doing the right thing is doing your best and releasing the hard feelings for not getting what you wanted. There is a freedom in releasing the pain from not getting what you want and trusting God to lead you to where he needs you to go and be. God has the Master Plan and knows where we are supposed to go and he will provide you with those opportunities but only if we trust him. Really trust him to let go of your own reins. Forgive and let the hard feelings go for not reaching your goal due to our own limitations or for more commonly, the limitations that others have put upon us. We may temporarily feel we lost something we will never find. It wasn't ours to have. Truth is, we didn't have to find it. It is we who were found because we were the ones who were lost in the first place.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~ The Buddha