Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner

Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner
Blue Ridge Smoky Mountains

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 94 - The Race Spider Catches a Black Sheep in Her Web (Part 2)

White people who are married to black people know what racism is.  We not only see it, we experience it too. I have felt this first hand on many occasions but none more strongly than on the day that I last spoke to my college Assignor....Tony MacDonald.  You remember right? .... my college assignor who wouldn't let my kids in the Disney locker room, who hung up the phone on me when I called to thank him for giving me a great game?  One time Tony pulled my good partner, Steve and myself over before our annual pre-season meeting and was visibly upset, with a slightly-elevated voice he said..."This is a one-way conversation. I don't want to hear a word out of you two while I speak. BJ Don't send me any e-mails, don't ask me any questions, don't call me." He left us sitting there in total shock.  What had we done?  To this day, I still don't understand what he had against me.

That was the last I had talked to Tony until our last conversation which involved an off-hand remark about my husband being black.  He said I was a good official and my seasons were getting better and better but he couldn't keep me on staff. This partly had to do with my husband's race and partly because I was associating with Steve, a white male official who just "happened to have been married to a Black woman."

As a referee, we are independent contractors so it wasn't like I could sue him for this.  I couldn't prove it.  I was heart-broken.  Once again life had handed me an experience of pain that came from being excluded for having a family that has "more pepper than salt" in it.  This was one of those times. I just looked at Tony with total disbelief and thought, you may think that my marriage and friendships are for you to judge but the reality is they are not. I'd rather be associated with a Black Honorable Fire Inspector husband and a husband of a black Honorable Pharmaceutical Rep than a white son-of-a-bitch like you.  I got up and walked out.  The right thing to do was to leave in silence.  My thoughts had said enough already. His past will catch up with him sometime I thought. 

I didn't have any power.  I really despised all the rude remarks he had made to me over my years of working for him.  I hated myself for putting up with them. I just wanted to referee. On one hand, I was glad to be free from his unprofessional e-mails and rhetoric. I didn't need to tell him to his face how I felt and I was the being the better person for it that day.  I knew this was another way of Tony MacDonald treating me like I was the "black sheep" of the world. The reality was, I wasn't the black sheep, he was. He had already been judged in the Seventh Circuit Court of Volusia County, in the State of Florida.   Not only was he judged but he was found guilty and convicted of a First Degree Felony of possession of more than 500 grams of cocaine (300 KG to be exact) that resulted in a death: Public Record: Agency 7th Circuit Court, Volusia County SID No. 3087117 in 1990.

Tony MacDonald still officiating at Wide World of Disney Sports Complex last year.
Tony is a convicted Felon and was assigning NCAA basketball officials.  He wasn't able to "be" an official but the NCAA contracted him to "assign" officials. We as referees have to have a past free from adjudications that involve questions of "immoral perptitude" in high school and college.  The NAIA motto is "Champions of Character."  The NAIA had hired Tony to assign their Florida conference officials too.  Tony was able to do this for over ten years under the radar screen.  He finally was let go after his contract ran out at which point he was told, "Now that we know about your conviction, Tony, we can't continue to work with you."  I wish I had been a fly on the wall and seen Tony's face and reaction to being told in essence, the same thing he had told me two years prior.  He had to be let go due to his associations.  I ask you, who is better to be associated with?  In my case - a white Retired Military Officer who had a Black wife and a Black Federal Fire Inspector or in Tony's case - a White bag of cocaine?  Oh the tangled webs we weave....When first we practice to decieve....The webs that please my eyes to see.....Some things never cease to amaze me!

Baa, Baa Black Sheep, Have you any wool?  Yes sir, yes sir, three BAGS full!

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