White people who are married to black people know what racism is. We not only see it, we experience it too. I have felt this first hand on many occasions but none more strongly than on the day that I last spoke to my college Assignor....Tony MacDonald. You remember right? .... my college assignor who wouldn't let my kids in the Disney locker room, who hung up the phone on me when I called to thank him for giving me a great game? One time Tony pulled my good partner, Steve and myself over before our annual pre-season meeting and was visibly upset, with a slightly-elevated voice he said..."This is a one-way conversation. I don't want to hear a word out of you two while I speak. BJ Don't send me any e-mails, don't ask me any questions, don't call me." He left us sitting there in total shock. What had we done? To this day, I still don't understand what he had against me.
That was the last I had talked to Tony until our last conversation which involved an off-hand remark about my husband being black. He said I was a good official and my seasons were getting better and better but he couldn't keep me on staff. This partly had to do with my husband's race and partly because I was associating with Steve, a white male official who just "happened to have been married to a Black woman."
As a referee, we are independent contractors so it wasn't like I could sue him for this. I couldn't prove it. I was heart-broken. Once again life had handed me an experience of pain that came from being excluded for having a family that has "more pepper than salt" in it. This was one of those times. I just looked at Tony with total disbelief and thought, you may think that my marriage and friendships are for you to judge but the reality is they are not. I'd rather be associated with a Black Honorable Fire Inspector husband and a husband of a black Honorable Pharmaceutical Rep than a white son-of-a-bitch like you. I got up and walked out. The right thing to do was to leave in silence. My thoughts had said enough already. His past will catch up with him sometime I thought.
|Tony MacDonald still officiating at Wide World of Disney Sports Complex last year.|
Baa, Baa Black Sheep, Have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three BAGS full!