There came a knock, a knock, a knockin' on my door.
(these two lines were song as a song)
I went to the door and opened the door and I saw a short, fat and UUUUGGLLLYYYYY guy.
A saw a short, fat and UUUUUGGLLLYYYY guy.
(now for this part my sister would use "my" hands to show short, fat as she stretched out her palms and as I said ugly, she would put her hands on my cheeks and shake my head. This part would send us both into hysterics and I would try to compose myself and continue.)
The man said, "Liza, I want to kiss you."
And I said, kicking my legs in an alternating kicking pattern between left and right legs like the Rockettes, "Ainta gonna do it. Ainta gonna do it. Ainta gonna do it."
And this process repeats two more times to which the second man is a tall, skinny and Uuugly guy and the third knock on the door is a "tall, dark and haaaanddssoooomme man." As I describe the third man at the door, my sister starts to primp my hair, straighten out my clothes and push up my boobs. He says, "Liza I want to kiss you." And I said, "OK."
It might have to be one of those things where you have to see it for yourself but you're going to have to trust me on this one, its hilarious. So for free, my mom's guests were laughing and clapping. Mission accomplished.
Now when there's a knock on the door, its usually the mail lady or the UPS man or the FedEx driver. Occasionally its a school child who is selling candy or Christmas wrapping paper in August. ADT periodically knocks too to sell us the ADT security we already have which is noted by the BIG BLUE SIGN in the front yard! And then there is the knock on the door that provides the unknown. There are men who just show up and knock that have no vehicle anywhere. When I'm home alone, I lock all the doors for safety as we are pretty far from anyone that I could go to for help. I wait for them to leave while ignoring the knock and as I see them leaving, I sing....ainta gonna do it, ainta gonna do it.
To read a good story about someone knocking on my door, please click here.