Her daughter is graduating next month and I want to send her a card but I have to think of how to send it in order for Ashley Ranck to actually get it. I know that my sister opens my nephews mail even if he is a legal adult. She is a control freak and when I saw how she treated her children one time at the Thanksgiving Dinner table, I felt bad for them. Having to grow up in an environment filled with screaming and yelling and fear. Don't do this, Do that, No Not THAT, This, but Not that Way, but THIS way, no not here but there, but not THERE, over THERE. It was insane.
Although she has gotten a divorce herself, when I tried to lean on her during a tough time through my divorce, she told me I was in love with the Devil. One of the most painful times in my life, and she poured salt into the wound.
My sister stopped talking to me over twenty years ago over a Christmas gift. I asked her what her son wanted for Christmas and bought it and sent it to him. She asked what my son wanted and I told her a Disney DVD. On Christmas we opened the present of the plastic colorful magnet alphabet letters and numbers that you put on the refrigerator. I was thankful and called her to say Thank you. I did wonder however why she asked me what my son wanted because what she sent was different. I was just curious. So I just asked her out of curiosity what happened to the DVD to which she originally inquired about? She called me an ungrateful Bitch and hung up on me.
I've even contacted her priest and asked, if he could say a homily that would help two estranged sisters reunite. He told me that whenever he did things like this, the person for whom he intended the message inevitably comes up to him and says, "That was a great message, So and So really needed to hear that." He said, "BJ sometimes you just have to think of that person as dead to survive all the pain they continually cause you." Can you imagine a priest saying such a thing? I was mad at the time but I can see now that he was right.
I recently tried to send an e-mail to my brother-in-law and guess who answered it! My sister, she's not only monitoring her children's every move, but her husbands too. WOW is all I can say. I just hope one day that my nephew and niece will seek me out. I love them and want to be a part of their lives. But know that until they grow up and move on, this will never be possible.
She has lead her children to believe that she is this perfect angel. If they only knew, if they could talk to me I'd let them know, that this is the reason in the first place that my sister doesn't want them to do anything without her knowledge, fear of finding out the truth. She was no perfect angel. Not even close. I just pray nothing but love to heal her wounds but I can't stand by and continue to take the abuse she doles out. She has NEVER apologized to anybody for anything. Conflict sends her running as it eats her up thus the ATE UP (8up) I referred earlier. She's eaten up with insecurity of being in a vulnerable place. To be in a place to ask for forgiveness for all the pain she's caused others in her life. The rest of the world has run away from her. The rest of us can't we're tied to her due to blood lines. The right thing to do is to not publish this blog, but this is the one time I'm going to make that exception. God forgive me. Please forgive me too...if you only knew the pain.