[as was delivered with grammatical errors and misspellings]
For most people Father's day is a day in which you celebrate the fathers in your life. This may or may not include your grandfathers. Since my father left me at the age of two and his father disowned me because my father (his son) didn't talk to him then my father didn't "exist" in my grandfather's mind. It took me close to thirteen years to get over the pain this letter has caused me in addition to the words "my children express the same view" in which he spoke "for" his daughters and to some extent the pain will always be there. But for this father's day I am giving the child in myself a voice. And I'm publishing a letter to my Grandfather, Robert F. Hauck, Sr. of Verona Pennsylvania. He may not claim me, but I have, do and always will claim him.
Your Oldest Granddaughter,
My father is Robert F. Hauck, Jr. of San Martin, California aka Mr. Deck. [www.mrdeck.com] He left Pennsylvania in 1968ish to avoid child support payments to my mother for his two children; my sister and myself. He has patents to inventions he's made over the years. Not once has he offered to be a real father in any shape emotionally or financially in over forty years. He has not shown me care in all the years I have known him. If you pay him to do his projects for you, you are helping add to his cause of not being held accountable to his daughter EVER. I believe I'm due this respect, it is after all the right thing to do. The last communication we had was him demanding me to print his book for him. He didn't even respect me enough to ask me why I couldn't print the book as fast as he wanted even though at the time he wanted it printed, he changed it seven more times after that. I pray that the people who read this will forward it to others who will put pressure on him to be accountable to me, after all that is all I have ever wanted, to just be loved and shown this love, respect and support from my father, on every day, not just Father's day, it is the Right thing to do.
In addition, my Godmother Carol Anne Calderone and my aunt Diane Laskoski [Award Winning Interior Designer and owner of the Blindside Decorating and Furniture Store, Monroeville, PA and Asheville, NC] have denied me as well. They did not stop my grandfather from sending this letter and do not to this day acknowledge the harm it has caused me emotionally. I have done nothing but be born, I have not been invited to my own grandmother's funeral or even been notified of her death by my aunts who arranged the funeral. My grandfather is still alive on this Father's day and I recently sent this letter to him, at the age of 92 in hopes that he and the rest of the family would do the right thing and include me instead of go out of their way to exclude me.
My Aunt Diane also has been interviewed by decorating magazines and she was quoted as seeing an increase in activity when the movie The Blindside with Sandra Bullock came out due to internet searches. She was quoted as saying that she liked the movie and knew the character Sandra Bullock played was also a decorator. She thought what Michael Oher's mother did an incredible thing. She also was quoted as saying that she tries to form relationships with her customers that is long standing. I can't help find the irony in these two statements as the real reason my grandfather and subsequently the rest of the family disowned me was due to me marrying a man who didn't happen to be white. So the question is why do we as families exclude our blood for the same reasons we try to form long standing relationships with non blood? The answer....money and avoidance of self-imposed shame.
And what does THAT really say about a person's true character? The irony of a person who helps make a home look beautiful when the actions they exhibit within their family and to their own family members is deplorable. The effect of these actions have been profound on my own character and life. I know the true pain that is caused being the recipient of conditional love and rejection. The right thing to do is to always be inclusive of all your family members regardless of what you think about their choices. Particularly if they cause you no harm. I've continued to send birthday cards every year and e-mails to my Aunt Diane Laskoski and no response has been given. Am I not even worthy of a response?...how nice is that? I mean really it is not nice at all. It is in fact a cruel person who ignores their own children and grandchildren (or any blood relatives) who have only tried to be supportive and show love.
So for those of you who have fathers who are supportive, loving and kind, enjoy them and their families because many, and I mean MANY of us don't have a human father to be happy about on this day in June. But we all have an immortal father to help us cope with this day.
|Mr. Deck, Robert F. Hauck, Jr. My father in absentia|
Websites by my father:
It is amazing to me that you can be so intelligent as to write such profound books but not have a drop of emotional intelligence to include me in your life for over 48 years! I am your oldest daughter yet you have not acknowledged me and probably never will acknowledge me and the beautiful woman I have become. I hope all see this so that you are exposed for the poor father you have been to me all these years. Pain and tears are all you have caused me yet you feel the world still owes YOU something. What have you done for your child is what God will ask you, not how many hours you put into studying his design.
You oldest daughter,