Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner

Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner
Blue Ridge Smoky Mountains

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Day 219 - Reverse Search and Star Codes

I've been stalked before and it is not a pleasant feeling.  When I was six months pregnant with my first son, I would come home and take a nap after working the 5AM-1PM shift. A man called and asked who he was speaking to?  Since I was not awake, I answered without having any defenses up and I told him my name.  He asked me if I liked hotdogs as I was gaining my wits and I asked, "Who is this?"  He started talking with sexual innuendos and I said that I was pregnant and to my naive amazement, this made his words even more sexual!  I hung up the phone. I was very scared especially because I was in a vulnerable state.  The phone rang as soon as I hung it up.  This continued for over twenty-four hours.  We had to unplug the phones to my roommates dismay.  We couldn't even use the phone because as soon as we placed the handset on the cradle, the phone would ring.

We called the police and they couldn't do anything about it.  We ended up changing our phone number.  Today there are resources.  If someone calls you in this abusive manner, you can dial *69 and the number will be revealed.  You also can hide your calls from the person you are calling by dialing *67 before you dial their number.  You can forward your calls by dialing *72 from your home phone and entering the number you wish the calls to be forwarded to while you are gone.  When you return, you can dial *73 to deactivate this call forwarding service.  There are a host of star codes like this and you can click on the link here to find out more about them.

There are so many tools at our disposal now to find out the owners of numbers.  One of these is the website that replaces the whitepages.  You can go to and then click on the tab that says reverse search, enter a phone number and the owner will come up if it is a land line.  Cell phone numbers are listed as just this "a cell phone" and have not been publicly listed ....yet. 

The right thing to do is to stop mentally ill people who use the telephone as a tool to harass an innocent person.  These tools were not available to me when I was stalked.  But today they are, so share this knowledge with others who may be in this situation.  I wonder what kind of person who would do this but the bottom line is there is no rational explanation for this irrational behavior.  I wish I could have reversed the situation on this perpetrator and made him feel like the victim.  Sometimes bullies just need to be bullied by someone who fights back.  I was defenseless and vulnerable.  If people try to intimidate me to this day, I don't let them cross this line.  Being in a male dominated field for over twenty years, I know that by standing up for myself, this creates the label of a "bitch."  If I were a man, I would be labeled as a "go-getter" an assertive person. 

Its life and I get the double standard in this culture.  The only thing that helps me get past this part of our inequality of gender in America is the fact that men can never know the pride of knowing a body can create and cradle and carry another human being.  A woman can endure the most painful natural birth and that simply cannot be experienced by the male gender.  I don't need to do a reverse search for that. No star codes for that either.  The only part that is missing is that my sons will NEVER EVER EVER understand what it took to do this and create them.  They can try, but understanding is not possible if you have not endured the same situation with the same circumstances.  I only hope they can come as close as do this, they have to really respect mother nature and love....truly love...and sometimes that means using that technology by picking up the phone and calling your mother.

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