Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner

Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner
Blue Ridge Smoky Mountains

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Day 245 - Grow Up Twenty-Two Year Old Son!

I remember we would always blame the parents when their children do wrong.  I no longer do this because I have a son who doesn't live up to my expectations either.  I know that I don't live up to his expectations too because he told me so.  Yes at the age of twenty-two, my son told me, "Why don't you start acting like a mother?" as I was brought him groceries for the sixth time since he moved out on his own.  He promised me he was going to get a job, but he said he couldn't find one.  He said it was because of the self-made tattoos he put on his hands and face.

Bet you can't guess who advised him NOT to do that?  Bet you can't guess either who worked two jobs and after getting off at eleven PM at night spent their evening trying to locate him when he ran away.  His father was home sleeping soundly not worrying about him, and it was me knocking on doors of all his friends night after night until 4 AM.  I came home, got two hours sleep and got back up to do it all again.  He tells his friends that he raised "himself."

I guess it was he that lived in the back of a car while he was pregnant with himself.  I guess it was he that washed themselves in the sinks of the McDonalds every morning. I guess it was he that gave him milk from his own bosom until he could walk.  I guess it was he that taught himself how to walk and talk.  I guess it was he that bought all his clothes, food, and homes he lived in, even after his dad walked out on us for a time. I guess it was he that paid for his private education. I guess it was he that dropped himself off and picked himself up from school.  I guess it was he that got a job that worked night hours so that he could be home with himself when he was younger.  I guess it was he who helped him with his homework.  I guess it was he that took him on vacations and taught him about the world outside of his hometown.  I guess it was he who got him into college.  I guess it was he that got him a new birth certificate and drivers license when he lost his own that his mother had gotten for him.  I guess it was he that bought him his first cell phone that he abused.  I guess it was he that bought himself all the new clothes that he passed on as second-hand clothes to his brother.

Truth is, it was his mother, doing what mothers do.  And it was his mother that was bringing him food last week to which he exclaimed, "I don't see myself eating a meal without meat."  I reminded him he was a college student.  He should be grateful to have rice.  I ate tuna fish and macaroni and cheese throughout my four years in college.  Then I got a full time job, paid for my own education and paid for my own living needs.  Notice I didn't say wants, I said needs.

When I tried to talk to him about turning to God when we need help.... All I know is [from the Daily Bread]..There is a list of possibilities that is long...but there are only two options: forge ahead on our own, or turn to God.flying solo into the face of trouble is not a good idea.  It can lead to bad behavior patterns, blaming God and retreating into defeat. His response was, "Fuck God!".

That day, I took all the food and left with the food.  Because I was doing my duty, to act like a mother.  Sometimes parents have to give tough love.  They need to tell their sons and daughters to do it on their own.  Then maybe, just maybe he'll see I am not only a good mother, I am, was and will always be a GREAT mother.  I don't need my son's approval to know what I've done.  Oh yeah, when dirt tastes good, then maybe you'll be ready to apologize for such a heartless remark.  Meanwhile, I'm doing the right thing, standing my ground and eating my own food and trusting my own God.  If I shun the ways of evil, I am kept by Him alone.

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.  ~John E. Southard

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