Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner

Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner
Blue Ridge Smoky Mountains

Friday, October 14, 2011

Day 263 - Nigger and Faggot....now Gay

These are the two words that are not allowed in my house.  The kids were raised to respect all people regardless of race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation or gender preference.  One day after returning back from officiating a basketball game, I remember it vividly.....I was taking care of the dishes from the dishwasher (yes that is another story, after working three jobs, I still had to do the laundry, and the dishes when I got home)...and my husband started in again about my lesbian friend.  His Christian morality prevented him from "allowing" my friend to come to our home.  He quoted scripture and justified his stance.  I don't like gays, they can do what they want but not in my house.  Punks (popular name used in the black community for gay men) are not following the bible.

I countered with, who are we to judge?  Even Jesus ate with the lepers and the outcasts of society.  He loved them all.  As Christians isn't our duty to accept all people and try to lead by example and speak the scripture through our actions?  My husband at the time just couldn't understand the logic.  His emotions had taken over and I felt like shock therapy was my only recourse.  I only had one close friend and she just happened to be gay. My husband was basically telling me that I could no longer have this friend.  She was not welcome in what was "our" home because he no longer wanted her in "his" home.  My son had gone through the kitchen during this time and happened to catch some of the conversation.  He stopped in his tracks when I yelled it..."I yelled....FOR THE RECORD I don't care what you are....BUT THE WORDS NIGGER, DYKE, AND FAGGOT are not allowed to be spoken in this house! They are hurtful words nobody better use them in my presence!"

The family knows I don't ever say these words so to hear the matriarch of the family use them in such boldness was shocking.  It worked.  I never had to have that conversation again.  I invited who I wanted, when I wanted.  Shortly after that I filed for divorce.  Nobody was ever going to tell me who I could have and who I couldn't have in my house again.  Especially due to nonsense like illogical logic to judge a person on the outside when I had already judged them to be good enough to be my friend based on their insides....

Ellen Degeneres was the first female celebrity to "come out of the closet."  With the first male NBA player Amaechi also doing the same, the public announcements about the use of another word are appearing.  I like them.  They are cool and use the same tactic but in a more calm manner.  Gay is also a word that is offensive if used in a derogatory manner.  The right thing to do is to ask somebody different than you if they mind a certain word.  Everybody is different and all words don't apply equally to everyone.  I just know there are three words that nobody better ever use in MY house!

Watch the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D_XLCmY0D8

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