Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner

Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner
Blue Ridge Smoky Mountains

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Day 272 - Everytime You Run...

We have a saying a Quitter Never Wins and a Winner Never Quits.  The biggest regret I ever had when I was in high school was quitting my basketball team as a Junior due to the unfair and unequal treatment of my high school Basketball Coach, Miss Polly McKeon.  She had defeated me in spirit.  I have only had this experience one other time when I was working for a company who hired a new Plant Manager from another state without doing a background check.  He started bothering me at work and following me around wanting to know where I was all the time.  I came to work early so that I could knock out a lot of work before the day started that was a tidal wave of events every day for a solid eight hours.  This one extra hour in the morning gave me some sort of control.  I arrived at 6:30 AM on regular occasion.

The straw that broke the camels back (or as Gabriele would say the horse with the hump's back) was when this new Manager met me at the car in the parking lot and started talking to me about what I had to do as soon as I got to my desk.  I told him, "Dave, please let me at least go in and put my lunch in the refrigerator." I even hid in the back darkroom where NOBODY ever goes to get away from him that day and he had searched the entire plant looking for me.  A fellow co-worker came in and told me that Dave was going crazy trying to find me. I asked Why and he said he didn't know, it was just driving him crazy that Dave didn't know where I was.  He found me and I asked him what he wanted and he never did give me a reason.

I talked to my immediate supervisor and to HR (the entire HR department consisted of one man) and they refused to take action.  I turned in my resignation.  The day after this turn of events of hiding at my own company, I realized that my company wasn't going to protect me and that this was just a ludicrous way to live your life.  I came  home, got out of the car, and just fell to the ground in my suit and cried my eyes out.  My husband came out of the house and picked me up and told me, "Don't let this man get inside your head." Later that week, my husband and I were looking for a new home and when we pulled up to a random house we were interested in, who would you guess showed up?  DAVE!! I told my husband, get in the car, we are not going to move ANYWHERE near this part of town.

Later as luck would have it, I met his ex-wife and she told me that he was actually a cocaine addict and that is why they had moved to Florida from Colorado.  They were trying to start over. The company that we worked together had never done a drug test or background test. 

I didn't quit, I moved to a more appreciative company.  I was the better for it.  In my thirties I was wiser from learning from high school that nobody can damage my spirit.  I  did however regret the decision I made when I was sixteen. I could have become a better basketball player... but the truth is this drove me to become the basketball referee that I had become.  The point is, you can run but you can't hide from your past.  You can only learn from the events and try hard to never repeat the same mistakes twice.  You also can turn any negative to a positive if you look for the right opportunity. It may be as simple as having the experience to understand how somebody else feels who is going through what you have been through already.  There is comfort in sharing the pain.

I do know this, if I had another adult in my life who could have protected me from that coach, it would have made a difference...if only JoePa hadn't turned a blind eye to what his Defensive coach was doing to the children who trusted this evil coach. Maybe these children wouldn't have to live the rest of their life not trusting the people or coaches or male authority figures. 

If you find yourself in this position of being deceived, remember the words, I Promise Not to Quit.  Every time you run, every time you hurt, every time you cry....Don't Quit.

Even more importantly, if you find yourself in the position of witnessing the deception and evil, expose the bastards!  Its the right thing to do. 

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