Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner

Nothing Finer than Living in North Caroliner
Blue Ridge Smoky Mountains

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Day 303 - Lets talk about Porn and Leadership

I'm reading the book by Colin Powell about Life and Leadership, It Worked for Me.  He has said so many good things, without giving away the book here are a few of them:

His Thirteen Rules
1. It ain't as bad as you think.  It will look better in the morning
2. Get mad, then get over it
3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it
4. It can be done
5. Be careful what you choose: you may get it
6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision
7. You can't make someone else's choices.  You shouldn't let someone else make yours
8. Check small things
9. Share Credit
10. Remain calm. Be kind.
11. Have a vision. Be demanding
12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers
13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

So I'm going to apply the general theme of my blog using these thirteen rules as it relates to men and women who view porn.

1. Is life so bad that one has to view porn (defined as....Pornography or porn is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter. Pornography may use a variety of media, including books, magazines, postcards, photos, sculpture, drawing, painting, animation, sound recording, film, video, and video games. The term applies to the depiction of the act rather than the act itself, and so does not include live exhibitions like sex shows and striptease. A pornographic model poses for still photographs. A pornographic actor or porn star performs in pornographic films. If dramatic skills are not involved, a performer in porn films may be also be called a model....Wikipedia)?  Self gratification in this form is not Godly or of leadership quality.  For what ever reason one choose to view it, curiosity, self-satisfaction, whatever, it has no life long value to make the next day better.  Hell if this is the case, one drink can make everything look better in the morning.

2. If your significant other discovers your interest in porn, get mad and then get over it.  It is your problem, not theirs because they discovered it.  Colin explains a soldier who pleaded that Colin not punish him for a DUI, stating, "You will ruin my career, my family life."  To which Colin responded, "No YOU did this to yourself, not me!"

3. If your position is that you have the "god given right" or freedom to view porn.  Consider the affect it has on your partners and children.  Adult children don't like knowing their fathers/mothers view porn just like young adults.  It is embarrassing to them.  So if your position is "I can do as I want" then you must accept that people don't want to be around people like this.  It leads to divorces, separations, arguments, etc. Is it of quality leadership is the real question?

4. Stopping this habit can be done. Filling that time with commitments that are long overdue, reading a book, working on a project, praying, spending time with your family as a fully-engaged family member, etc.

5. Be careful what you seek, you might end up like Fatal Attraction and meet somebody online who stalks you.  Or like Talhotblond who portrays that they are somebody they are not.

6. A good decision is to lead a clean wholesome life of leadership quality. Porn is not part of either of these two equations...clean and wholesome and leadership quality.

7. You can't do this because someone wants you to, you have to expect better for yourself.  You have to make this decision to be a leader and know that people watch you all the time.  If one wants to be a leader, one must exhibit behavior to be followed.

8. Check small things.  Well I'll let that one speak for itself.

9. Share credit, when people ask you why you quit, tell them.  Was it you, your faith, your partner?  Be fully disclosing so the wolves that hide in sheeps clothing can continue to see that they are not the only ones who can be strong enough to quit.  Lead the rest of the wolf pack to freedom of this grip of seduction.

10. Remain calm.  Be kind to the people who call you out and recognize that they love you for who you are, not your money, not your good looks, not your great personality.  They are only looking out for your best interest.

11. Have a vision.  Be demanding of yourself.  Set higher standards, get out of the gutter where Leaders don't dwell.

12. Don't let the wolves or crabs pull you back down.  Listen to the people who support you.

13. Believe in yourself.  If you don't, nobody else will.

The bottom line is if one professes to have experience, knowledge, and motivation to be a leader, they must exhibit leadership qualities when nobody's looking.  This is where character is born, lives and flourishes.  Leaders have character and exhibit it at all times.  Justification for porn, or any connection with it for any manner is below such leadership standards.

Do the right thing. 

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