Its with deep regret that we buried my grandmother last month. After being away for thirty years, it was great to just be around the family I had left. People ask me about what family I have after they have known me for a long time and know only of my mother. I tell them, I have nobody else. Its really very sad. So the days of going up the long dirt road to grandpa's A Frame built with his own hands, the days of walking through the Queen Anne's Lace taller than we were, with my cousins to the lake to catch sunfish have faded, and the willingness to fight for those relationships has finally gone. I give up. Its just so much one person can do. As my partner and love of my life has taught me, you can't chase people to love them.
So as I spoke at grandma's funeral, I just mentioned that the lesson she taught us despite not understanding us was to love us anyway. So I love you Lori Lin despite not understanding your ways and disdain toward me. And to Ashley and Joshua, I wish I could have had a relationship with you and your significant others. I tried to reach out however its not meant to be in this lifetime. I love you all too.
Grandmother pray for all of us you have left here on earth. It appears we're going to need it. I'll just keep thinking of you nightly as I watch the fireflies in my front and back yard rise up as the sun goes down as testament to the meaning of that phrase. Rise up as the sun goes down, tomorrow will be a new day!